I thought they’d have a lot more to say about me wanting to live away. This isn’t the first time though because I lived in a boarding house in college. But the other day, I told them about my plan and they tried to talk me out of it.
Surprisingly today, they just agreed with it. I was expecting they’ll be surprised that I already found a house. Well my sister was still kind of unsure that it’s the best decision but she didn’t say much. When it comes to money, she’ll know better than me. Yesterday, she calculated how much I could save if I just live home. That’s just her but I didn’t really care. Of course I care about saving but I am sure about my decision.
She wasn’t all right about the calculation but it wasn’t just about money. It wasn’t even really about me getting tired of riding the bus home for an hour and a half.
I just want change. I need change in my life. I’ve been planning this since college. I said to myself before that if I get a job and can take care of myself on my own, I’d do it. And this is it. I don’t really know how this will work. I mean, all my life I’ve been dependent on my parents.
In our culture, it’s pretty normal to live with your parents until you get married. You could stay with them for as long as you want. No one will judge you. It’s actually the other way around. If you move out, people would think you’re being rebellious or impractical. Well, it’s more practical to live with your family, yes. You could share the bills. Also, the more the merrier.
But what I notice is that it has also killed independence and our sense of responsibility. At least for me, it felt that way.
I myself has become really dependent on my mother. I’ve become lazy as a rat. I don’t wash my own laundry, seldom do I wash the dishes or cook. I did all these when I used to live at the boarding house in college. But when I moved back home, I’ve become the old lazy, dependent, irresponsible kid. I got used to waking up late and going home from my job with food on the table.
And it’s really embarrassing to admit that. I feel guilt building up everyday.
So I decided I need to change. I need to do my chores this time. I think it’s time I start to actually adult up, if that’s even a thing. I shouldn’t depend on others to take care of me anymore.
Next week, I’ll be moving to my new boarding house. I’m sharing a room with my friend so I can save some money. Which is another reason I’m living away. Money.
I’ve been working for more than two months now. Maybe that’s not so long, but I really couldn’t feel like I ever had any money. I don’t eat out much. Maybe only four times with friends since I started but I didn’t even spend that much. Is four times a lot?
I don’t like feeling this, my money not going anywhere. I do have savings, the only thing I’m proud of myself for. So far it’s the only good thing that I could stick with. I’m trying to follow the income minus savings equals expense. And I’m happy to say that it’s working pretty well. I actually saved more than I intended to.
So I guess, when I live alone, it wouldn’t be so hard to save. I think I can control myself just fine. The fact that I’ll be literally alone, without my family to give me money when my pocket is empty will be a big help.
I’m very excited. This is like a real version of playing house I used to play when I was a kid. I’m actually gonna feed myself with my own earned money, wash my clothes and cook for myself. This is gonna be an interesting year. I look forward to next week and the next and next.
Another reason I want to live away is I just want to be free from everything. I don’t know exactly what I mean by everything. But do you ever feel like you’re stuck in one place, everyday becomes routine and nothing seems to excite you anymore? That’s how I feel with my life right now. I want adventures. I want to try new things and I want to live a life I chose for myself.
I want to make big decisions without other people telling me what’s right for me. I don’t know what’s really right or not for me that’s why I want to try different things. I want to figure things out on my own and find out about life with my own eyes.
One thing I noticed about myself is that I didn’t only become dependent on others in doing things but also in thinking. I care so much about their opinions because it felt like they earned it by me being unable to survive without them.
I hope this journey will teach me a lot of lessons. I’d like to think of it as a life upgrade. It’s a start of that so called real world everyone is talking about. Let’s see what’s waiting.
I know it’s gonna be tough but I’m sure it’s the fun kind.